Nothing quite complements both rocking and rolling (and select rapping) more than a well-placed Neckerchief.

Just ask this guy…  a Brooklynite enjoying Simian Mobile Disco “in his own special way.” 

(Thanks Butter Team)

Quick List of musicians and the kercheifs that tickle their vocal chords… (I’ll add more as I find them)

10. Kanye West

9. Justin Timberlake

8.  Jimmy Page from Led Zepplin

Believe it or not, Rolling Stone ran some sort of promotion like… guess who the hell on our front cover is going to wear a neckerchief.  Check it.

7. Pharell Williams

6. Roughly Half the Music Scene of Ottawa, Canada

4.  Kevin Barnes of Of Montreal

and MORE to come…

My cape was snagged on a fence for the past three months, so pardon the tranquilness of the blog.

After successfully tearing the yellow satin cape I traditionally wear on Wednesdays from the construction fence for a brand new Church’s Chicken, I busked just enough money to pay for a bus ride back to my house so I can present you with…  CATS IN NECKERCHIEFS!!!

Cooper

Sal

Alfie

Mimi

…will stop kids in Chicago from wearing neckerchiefs… There’s always a healthy supply of them over at The Mid Wasteland– an aptly named Chitown fashion blog:

Really?

The cossack is a nice touch… were there Russian vikings? There should’ve been.

When wearing accessories, make sure they match. Notice: unnecessary neckerchief perfectly complements unnecessary glasses.

srsly?

Timeless, be-golded nape flair.

whew. That’s enough for today.

(editorial note: Rob will be able to cover the many kercheifs that have pillaged their way up the Lake Michigan coastline to Milwaukee. That’s right — we’re setting up franchises. I only hope I can hold down the fort here in Chicago.)

This is how you do it, folks.  This… is… how… you… do it…

It’s impossible to determine the exact amount of mead it takes to write a post as dumb as that last one about Gregorian calendars and wet/dry vacs.  We’re feeling apologetic, so we’ve released another neckerchief into the wild…

It’s true, they just don’t do it. Neckerchiefs do not follow our Gregorian calendar and it’s easy as pie ordering. And if you even try to make a play date with them, or maybe schedule a time to pick up your wet/dry vac which you loaned them last year, they’ll just glare at you and tell you about how they prefer the extra 10 days in the Julian Calendar and rant about Pope Gregory XIII.  What dicks.

Sam Elliot is a lot of things. Gritty. Gravel-voiced. Moustached.

But Sam Elliot is also another thing.  An important thing.  A Neckerchief enthusiast.

And that’s quite alright with me.

Once you were a part of someone

tied tightly, cowboy style, to the neck

of a hipster.  Or cowboy.  In Milwaukee. 

Now. No more.  You are flotsam.  Or jetsam?

No, you are neither.  You were never on the ocean,

gliding through salty waters, an adornment cast away

like a Hartford Whalers Starter jacket. 

-Many thanks to Kerith for the awesome pic! 

BDazzle has been appointed editor of Neckerchief Valhalla. His duties will involve:

• Drinking on the job
• Carousing with the interns
• Locating, traveling to and facilitating the photography of Neckerchiefs in their natural habitat
• Drinking on the job
• Procuring berries, honey, yeast and other ingredients for which the office vikings can make mead
• Drinking mead on the job

In celebration, I have released one Neckerchief into the wild…

Go forth, young stallion! Go forth!

Calvinists probably hated them, too.

It’s time, people. That time? To stop wearing neckerchiefs in an ironic way. We’ll tack our list of complaints to the door of an Urban Outfitters soon. First, Steve Guttenberg must create the printing press so his seed can star in movies with Bubba Smith and Michael Winslow.