Sam Elliot: The First Neckerchief Valhalla Genius Grant Award Winner

•November 13, 2007 • 5 Comments

This is how you do it, folks.  This… is… how… you… do it…

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The Editors Apologize For That Last Post

•November 12, 2007 • 2 Comments

It’s impossible to determine the exact amount of mead it takes to write a post as dumb as that last one about Gregorian calendars and wet/dry vacs.  We’re feeling apologetic, so we’ve released another neckerchief into the wild…

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Neckerchiefs Don’t Work For The Weekend (Because It Doesn’t Exist)

•November 12, 2007 • Leave a Comment

It’s true, they just don’t do it. Neckerchiefs do not follow our Gregorian calendar and it’s easy as pie ordering. And if you even try to make a play date with them, or maybe schedule a time to pick up your wet/dry vac which you loaned them last year, they’ll just glare at you and tell you about how they prefer the extra 10 days in the Julian Calendar and rant about Pope Gregory XIII.  What dicks.

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Sam Elliot Believes In Neckerchief Valhalla

•November 9, 2007 • 3 Comments

Sam Elliot is a lot of things. Gritty. Gravel-voiced. Moustached.

But Sam Elliot is also another thing.  An important thing.  A Neckerchief enthusiast.

And that’s quite alright with me.

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Ode To The Discarded Neckerchief

•November 8, 2007 • 3 Comments

Once you were a part of someone

tied tightly, cowboy style, to the neck

of a hipster.  Or cowboy.  In Milwaukee. 

Now. No more.  You are flotsam.  Or jetsam?

No, you are neither.  You were never on the ocean,

gliding through salty waters, an adornment cast away

like a Hartford Whalers Starter jacket. 

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-Many thanks to Kerith for the awesome pic! 

Neck’Halla Job News!

•November 7, 2007 • 5 Comments

BDazzle has been appointed editor of Neckerchief Valhalla. His duties will involve:

  • Drinking on the job
  • Carousing with the interns
  • Locating, traveling to and facilitating the photography of Neckerchiefs in their natural habitat
  • Drinking on the job
  • Procuring berries, honey, yeast and other ingredients for which the office vikings can make mead
  • Drinking mead on the job

In celebration, I have released one Neckerchief into the wild…

Go forth, young stallion! Go forth!

Martin Luther Hated Neckerchiefs

•November 6, 2007 • 3 Comments

Calvinists probably hated them, too.

It’s time, people. That time? To stop wearing neckerchiefs in an ironic way. We’ll tack our list of complaints to the door of an Urban Outfitters soon. First, Steve Guttenberg must create the printing press so his seed can star in movies with Bubba Smith and Michael Winslow.

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